If you want to get to know me… Here’s a glimpse into my past..
I have not always been into healthy living and I did not always enjoy working out. Actually, there was a time when I never even considered joining a gym or watching what I ate!
A few years ago I was living a totally different life style. One full of over eating, excessive partying, and self doubt. I know sometimes its hard to believe when you’ve only met me now, but let me recap the last few years for you!
2009-2011 – College Life
In my college years I did not consider myself overweight. I felt pretty “average” when I looked around at the others. I did not take myself too seriously; I loved partying, eating McDonalds, and just lived the classic college lifestyle couldn’t care less what the scale said, it was all about having fun and not ‘missing out’ on anything that was going on. It was rare to see me without a red cup in my hand! Lucky for me, I had a fairly fast metabolism at the time which allowed me to keep up this lifestyle for a few years with little weight gain.
In January of 2012 I decided to sell my car, pack two suitcases, buy a plane ticket to Australia in hopes of finding myself and gaining some life experience with my then boyfriend. This was the first time I’d left home and truly had to take care of myself. And let me tell you, boy was it a huge wakeup call! As I kept my party girl persona going.. money was going out faster than it was coming in (but who could care when you were living on a white sandy beach in a beautiful country where each day felt new and exciting). However, this lead to me eating whatever was on sale at the grocery store (which usually meant frozen pizzas, hamburgers, pasta, etc).
Also, I think it’s important to mention that my apartment was right next to ‘Maccas’ aka McDonalds, which by the way is ridiculously cheap in Australia! Needless to say, I was a regular.
Now I must say that my 18 months living in Australia were absolutely incredible and I did have an amazing experience and learned a lot about myself, I just know now looking back that it was a very unhealthy time for me. It makes me laugh thinking back to myself pre-Australia. I remember picturing what it was going to be like there and telling myself I was going to get up early and go for runs on the beach everyday (ya right, I was busy stumbling home and crawling into bed as the sun was rising). I had this idea that everyone in Australia was magazine perfect hanging out at the beach everyday and I was pleasantly surprised when I arrived and realized it was nothing like that. Tourists everywhere, people of all shapes and sizes. If I had to choose one thing I loved most about Aussies, I’d have to say it was their ‘no worries’, ‘happy-go-lucky’ attitude; like nothing mattered. I truly felt as though nothing matter. They were all so happy go lucky. If the sun was shining who cares if you gained a few pounds from drinking, or drank too much last night.. as long as that sun was out everyone was happy. Which is the reason why I believe I dropped the idea of running on the beach so quickly as I felt more confident there on the beach in my bikini then I had ever felt back in Canada the previous years.
After my 18 months of partying and traveling down under came to an end.. it was time to move back home to Ontario which was when my world came crashing down.
June 2013 – Down the Rabbit Hole I go!
Summer of 2013 I came home to my old room in my parents basement, which looked exactly how I remembered it, as if everything was precisely where I left it.
Walking into my room that day felt like I was in a time warp. As if the last 18 months in Australia never even happened. I went to bed that night feeling very uneasy, as if I didn’t want to go to sleep because I knew when I woke up in the morning I’d be waking up to those four walls in my parents basement, with my boyfriend living on the other side of the planet, and my new found self feeling trapped in my old life. I could feel the depression creeping in on my thoughts and feelings. How was this basement in Canada ever going to compare to the ocean view apartment in Surfers Paradise!?
After just a few weeks of being home, my then boyfriend decided it was time for our 3 years of dating and 18 months exploring the other side of the world together to be just a memory. He called it quits over one of our regular Skype calls, catching me completely off guard! Uh oh, this was it! That was the moment I began to spiral down the dark hole of self doubt as depression got a grip on me; both mentally and physically.
Thankfully, I have a great family full of support, that kept pushing me to look ahead and stop dwelling on something I couldn’t change. After several weeks of not wanting to leave my bed I started cruising the internet, decided to apply for a job and received a call the next day for an interview. The job was exactly what I was after; in the construction industry putting my college carpentry diploma to work.
My days at work were going well. Even though I was still a complete mess inside, I was getting much better at hiding my sadness. I was busy trying to fit into the construction industry, which meant plenty of coffee breaks with cookies and muffins, fast food lunches and beers after work! So in comparison my eating habits back in Australia to now were not much different. However, one big thing had changed… transportation. No longer was I walking everywhere, carrying home my groceries every few days, or spending my nights dancing away at bars. I was now driving everywhere because nothing was in walking distance!
This is where it all comes together..
Depression, poor eating habits, long tiring work days, alcohol, and little exercise (if any) all lead to a rapid 15lb (6.8kg) weight gain over the course of a couple months. The funny thing is, I didn’t even notice my weight gain I just carried on living everyday on autopilot, just doing the same things day in and day out. I was living for my weekends when I could party hard. This was my escape.
At this point I had met someone who truly intrigued me. Although I still felt completely worthless and believed I wasn’t good enough for anyone, I decided to go with the flow and get to know him.
There was just something about him. He was so put together as though he had life figured out and knew exactly what he wanted. He was a true gentlemen and that melted my heart quickly. Once we began dating, my guards came down, and I found so many emotions that I didn’t even know were there. Hiding behind my bright smile that fall was a lost and insecure girl.
January 2014 – My Wake Up Call
I could see in the mirror now that I had gained a few pounds but I was totally oblivious to just how much! I decided to step on a scale and to my surprise I saw a number that I had never seen before. As tears came rushing down my face reality was once again staring back at me. “What was hiding behind the parties and excessive eating was clearly showing to the world and I was now seeing it for the first time.”
Next, I did what any girl would do; frantically started flipping through my old Facebook photos comparing myself from a year ago until now. I could not believe my eyes.
This was my wake up call.
At this point my boyfriend was already obsessed with working out. I began asking him questions and he suggested I join a gym and then he helped me put together a meal plan. He was excited to have me showing an interest in a lifestyle he was already so accustomed to living. I did what most people do when they decide they are going to start losing weight.. I jumped on the New Years resolution band wagon and became a dedicated gym goer which consisted of 4 or 5 days a week.
I also started to cut out my bad eating habits (during the week at least) but I continued to drink & go out for dinner on weekends. I quickly became frustrated when I wasn’t seeing any results yet I felt as though I was trying really hard! I struggled with this for a few months which caused some tension in our relationship when he was cutting down for summer, working on his killer abs as I was stuck in this fat suit that I wasn’t used to wearing!
May 2014 – The Big Change
In spring 2014, I realized my unhappiness was not all due to my weight gain. My job was also a huge contributing factor! The love and passion I once had for the renovation industry had disappeared. I was starting to feel lost once again.
My boyfriend suggested I move in with him (I should probably mention he lived 3 hours away from where I was living). Therefore, this was a big decision.
I knew that I was happiest when I was around him. When I’d drive home from his place I’d have a goofy smile on my face the entire 3 hours by myself. This was a clear sign to me that I had to follow my happiness.
So I packed up my things and moved in with Joe. This was the best decision I could have made for my health & wellbeing! I spent most of my days researching about fitness, working out, and eating healthy. This was much easier to do now that I lived with someone who already had his routine established. It is much easier to eat healthy when there are no sweets/treats in the house taunting you!
I think the most important part of my fitness journey happened within these 6 months.. I was no longer focused on ‘losing weight’ or getting rid of the 15lbs I had gained. Instead my mind shifted, I wanted to live a healthy life style and simply take care of myself. I cut out drinking completely and began healing my body. The greatest part about this was once I began focusing on me and taking care of my body, the weight began to fall off and I lost that 15lbs fairly quickly.
2015 – The year I took my passion for fitness & started living my purpose!
With all this new found love for health & wellness I began researching schools and decided to enroll in the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. This is where I learned to use my story and passion for health to reach out and help other struggling women create the life they imagine. Full of love, laughter, health and self worth!
If you want to find out how I can help you with your journey schedule a FREE consultation today! 🙂