As I sit on the beach listening to the waves crash I find myself people watching and reminiscing. Being here five years later is a bit of an emotional roller-coaster. One I know I needed to ride in order to move forward in my life.
One minute I feel a sense of joy and calmness as I always do when I am next to the ocean and the next minute tears are strolling down my face as I think of what a different place in my life I was in when I was last here on the Esplanade. The Gold Coast will always hold a part of my heart but being here once again allowed me to see this place with a fresh set of eyes. This is not somewhere I would want to live at this time in my life. It is amazing just how much one can change in such a short period of time. Five years doesn’t seem that long, but being here now feels like that was a lifetime ago.
I wish I could share the view I have but it’s honestly can’t quite put it into words as I look around. I see young families everywhere, something I never recall noticing here before. I assume most of them are on their family vacations as they snap pictures giving away the fact that they are most likely tourists while others seem to be locals out for their morning walk on the beach. I realized being here in this stage of life would be very unpractical as I don’t see it being a very great place to raise kids. Especially when all my family is on the other side of the world.
When I lived here five years ago we spent our days lounging on the beach and our nights out drinking at the bars, dancing until the sun came up. Being here really showed me that the Gold Coast doesn’t have much left for me now. I realized that the reason I loved living here so much was the fact that I got to walk down the street to my friends apartments and there was always something going on. Basically everything we needed was in walking distance and I loved that. Plus the ocean view apartment was pretty incredible as well. Looking back now it seems pretty crazy that I was 20 years old living in a beach front apartment that cost less to rent than a 1 bedroom apartment in Hamilton or Burlington now!
The friends I made in Australia became my family. When you live on the other side of the world you are all each other has which brings you closer than ever. However, those friends are no longer here and the reality is I am still hanging out with most of them back home. I also have zero interest in spending my nights at the bar nowadays regardless of where I am living. Sure the beach is as beautiful as it always was but I don’t need to be on the other side of the world sit on a beach and listen to waves crash. I actually live close to a few beaches back home that can bring the same sense of calmness that I need whenever I need it.
As I sit here drinking my morning long black coffee I am delighted to see dolphins and whales playing in my view. This is a memory which I always think back to and I am so grateful to have experienced this once again. Such a beautiful sight the ocean is and to see wildlife enjoying it as well makes my heart full.
The fact that I am even noticing all the families and thinking about kids is even a new feeling for me. Something I haven’t given much thought to until I departed on this trip. When I booked my trip to Australia I didn’t really know what I was looking for, I just new I needed to come back here. Being on the Goldie has given me some closure which I didn’t even know I needed.
The last time I left Australia I really thought I would be back soon and maybe even live the rest of my life out here. So when my life drastically changed when I got home from those years aboard I felt as though I was robbed of that dream and I spent years thinking about the life I use to live on the Gold Coast. Constantly comparing my daily routine to the time I once lived on the beach. I realize now that these two lives are not comparable at all and quite frankly I wouldn’t want to go back to the old life.
I will always cherish the memories I have of this place but I can now truly move forward with more appreciation for the life I now currently live in Canada, my true home.
With so much love and appreciation for this experience I can truly close the doors of that chapter in my life and continue on this journey. See you soon Sydney! <3
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